acts_of_gord | (no subject)

"Ready as I'm gonna be, I think," says Alyx as she settles into her seat (on the bed, with pillows propped up as a makeshift backrest). "I can't remember the last time I saw a movie like this... or any movie at all, actually."

Edited 2008-10-06 05:49 (UTC)

Gordon smiles and gets up on the bed next to Alyx. It's big enough, after all. "Here goes," he says, and presses 'play' on the remote. There's a few things like previews and FBI warnings and the Lucasfilm logo to click through, but then the screen goes black. The words A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.... appear.

And the trumpets start.

Oh.

Oh.

Alyx Vance has never seen any part of the Star Wars saga before. She has only a very vague idea of the nature of the movie she's about to see. But she is, forever and always, a nerd, and that trumpet fanfare triggers a deep-rooted nerd instinct which tells her that this is going to be awesome.

That faint high-pitched eeeeeeeeee noise you're hearing isn't coming from the DVD, Gordon.

Gordon just leans back and grins as the text scroll begins.

It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.

During the battle, Rebel spies managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon, the DEATH STAR, an armored space station with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

Pursued by the Empire's sinister agents, Princess Leia races home aboard her starship, custodian of the stolen plans that can save her people and restore freedom to the galaxy...

The camera pans down. The moons appear. The glowing golden planet Tattooine appears. The first starship, its engines at full burn and its guns firing madly, appears- and the immense bulk of the second ship follows. That one's going to take a while to cross the entire screen.

"Understand that this was done with model ships," Gordon murmurs as the rebel ship shudders under fire and the camera cuts to an interior shot of two droids. "State of the art visual effects in 1977."

Alyx quirks an eyebrow at the droids. "Man. The tall one really needs its joints worked on."

"That's because it's a man in a suit. Robotics technology in '77 was lucky if it didn't catch on fire or fall apart outside of the factory where it was built."

"That's lame. Couldn't they just use little robots, like that other one?"

Edited 2008-10-06 06:23 (UTC)

"... that's being operated by a dwarf. His name's Kenny Baker and he's three feet, eight inches tall."

"...I hope he was getting paid a lot," says Alyx after a moment. "Why is everybody dressed like the security guards at Black Mesa?"

"That's essentially their function on board this ship- they're security guards and bodyguards for that princess the opening crawl mentioned," Gordon says. "Keep watching..."

There goes the door.

"They're not Elites. All the Empire's infantry dresses like that."

"Yeah, Elites woulda cleared the hallway way faster than that..."

She trails off as a certain figure in black enters the scene. "Whoah. Who's that?"

"That," says Gordon, "is Darth Vader. Pretty much the Emperor's right-hand man and more cybernetically enhanced and upgraded than Elites or Overwatch. Still got his own brain, though."

Somewhere else on the ship, a young woman is busy inputting something not quite seen into R2D2's banks as the golden droid frets and fusses. That doesn't last long, though. There's Security to round up and lift off their feet by their necks.

Alyx huffs a laugh. "At least he doesn't talk you to death like Breen."

And the young woman just got stunned by the Stormtroopers. "Well, what d'you expect if you're gonna wear a bright white dress?" Alyx murmurs. "You might as well paint a target on your chest and put up a sign that says 'I can't run away, please shoot me.'"

"The troopers aren't exactly camouflaged either," says Gordon as the droids start arguing about secret missions, plans, escape pods, and AUGH BLASTER FIRE.

"Darth Vader, only you could be so bold." The princess seems to be doing her best to ignore the manacles, the troopers, and the fact that she's got absolutely no ground to stand on. "The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you've attacked a diplomatic-"

"Don't play games with me, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time-"

"Got a better voice than Breen, you have to give him that."

Edited 2008-10-06 06:59 (UTC)

"An asthmatic houndeye has a better voice than Breen."

Alyx winces when she sees the two droids trekking across the desert. Sand is hell on servo motors.

It's amazing how much of an argument still comes across when only one of the participants speaks English and the other one communicates solely in furious beeps.

Splitting up in the face of a major argument probably isn't wise, given how difficult survival is for mechanisms on a sandy planet like Tattooine, but what can you do...

The little one seems to be doing alright for himself.

At least until the tiny robed figures show up and shoot him.

Alyx lets out a little whimper and grabs Gordon's hand at R2-D2's digital shrieks of pain.

"It's okay. It gets better," Gordon murmurs.

True, there's going to be the scene in the belly of the Jawas' sandcrawler first, and Threepio's own capture, but still.

And shortly after that, we start seeing actual humans again.

"Luke, tell Uncle if he gets a translator, be sure it speaks Bocce!"

"Doesn't look like we have much of a choice, but I'll remind him..."

"Nice setup they've got there," Alyx murmurs at the sight of the homestead built into the crater in the sand. "Reminds me of the old scrapyard."

Edited 2008-10-06 17:18 (UTC)

"I think they built this in a real desert, so it had to stand up to local conditions," Gordon says. "I'm not sure what they're farming, though."

Threepio manages to talk his way into Owen's good graces, but R2, not so much. Not until Luke whines does R2 get his chance to sabotage his competition and come along for the ride.

Alyx quirks an eyebrow at the droid with the 'bad motivator,' and cringes when C-3PO starts talking about 'oil baths' and 'dust contamination.'

"Okay, they're just making up words now, aren't they? He needs cleaning. Can't they just say that and be done with it??"

Edited 2008-10-06 17:37 (UTC)

"1977," Gordon murmurs. "Most people seeing this movie thought robots were supposed to have giant plastic heads full of flashing lights and wander around waiting for a chance to kill people."

"Ignorance is no excuse," Alyx mutters, but quiets down for the next bit.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

"Oh, he says it's nothing, sir. Merely a malfunction. Old data. Pay it no mind-"

But of course Luke just can't let it go. Old Ben Kenobi's going to be getting a visit soon, it looks like. Gordon leans back to watch what unfolds, and Alyx's reactions.

A visit from somebody, at least.

"It wasn't my fault, sir! Please don't deactivate me! I told him not to go, but--he's faulting, malfunctioning! Kept babbling on about his 'mission'!"

Alyx smirks. "'Too little to run away on me,' my ass... Clever little bastard."