acts_of_gord | (no subject)

"That's because it's a man in a suit. Robotics technology in '77 was lucky if it didn't catch on fire or fall apart outside of the factory where it was built."

"That's lame. Couldn't they just use little robots, like that other one?"

Edited 2008-10-06 06:23 (UTC)

"... that's being operated by a dwarf. His name's Kenny Baker and he's three feet, eight inches tall."

"...I hope he was getting paid a lot," says Alyx after a moment. "Why is everybody dressed like the security guards at Black Mesa?"

"That's essentially their function on board this ship- they're security guards and bodyguards for that princess the opening crawl mentioned," Gordon says. "Keep watching..."

There goes the door.

"They're not Elites. All the Empire's infantry dresses like that."

"Yeah, Elites woulda cleared the hallway way faster than that..."

She trails off as a certain figure in black enters the scene. "Whoah. Who's that?"

"That," says Gordon, "is Darth Vader. Pretty much the Emperor's right-hand man and more cybernetically enhanced and upgraded than Elites or Overwatch. Still got his own brain, though."

Somewhere else on the ship, a young woman is busy inputting something not quite seen into R2D2's banks as the golden droid frets and fusses. That doesn't last long, though. There's Security to round up and lift off their feet by their necks.

Alyx huffs a laugh. "At least he doesn't talk you to death like Breen."

And the young woman just got stunned by the Stormtroopers. "Well, what d'you expect if you're gonna wear a bright white dress?" Alyx murmurs. "You might as well paint a target on your chest and put up a sign that says 'I can't run away, please shoot me.'"

"The troopers aren't exactly camouflaged either," says Gordon as the droids start arguing about secret missions, plans, escape pods, and AUGH BLASTER FIRE.

"Darth Vader, only you could be so bold." The princess seems to be doing her best to ignore the manacles, the troopers, and the fact that she's got absolutely no ground to stand on. "The Imperial Senate will not sit for this, when they hear you've attacked a diplomatic-"

"Don't play games with me, Your Highness. You weren't on any mercy mission this time-"

"Got a better voice than Breen, you have to give him that."

Edited 2008-10-06 06:59 (UTC)

"An asthmatic houndeye has a better voice than Breen."

Alyx winces when she sees the two droids trekking across the desert. Sand is hell on servo motors.

It's amazing how much of an argument still comes across when only one of the participants speaks English and the other one communicates solely in furious beeps.

Splitting up in the face of a major argument probably isn't wise, given how difficult survival is for mechanisms on a sandy planet like Tattooine, but what can you do...

The little one seems to be doing alright for himself.

At least until the tiny robed figures show up and shoot him.

Alyx lets out a little whimper and grabs Gordon's hand at R2-D2's digital shrieks of pain.

"It's okay. It gets better," Gordon murmurs.

True, there's going to be the scene in the belly of the Jawas' sandcrawler first, and Threepio's own capture, but still.

And shortly after that, we start seeing actual humans again.

"Luke, tell Uncle if he gets a translator, be sure it speaks Bocce!"

"Doesn't look like we have much of a choice, but I'll remind him..."

"Nice setup they've got there," Alyx murmurs at the sight of the homestead built into the crater in the sand. "Reminds me of the old scrapyard."

Edited 2008-10-06 17:18 (UTC)

"I think they built this in a real desert, so it had to stand up to local conditions," Gordon says. "I'm not sure what they're farming, though."

Threepio manages to talk his way into Owen's good graces, but R2, not so much. Not until Luke whines does R2 get his chance to sabotage his competition and come along for the ride.

Alyx quirks an eyebrow at the droid with the 'bad motivator,' and cringes when C-3PO starts talking about 'oil baths' and 'dust contamination.'

"Okay, they're just making up words now, aren't they? He needs cleaning. Can't they just say that and be done with it??"

Edited 2008-10-06 17:37 (UTC)

"1977," Gordon murmurs. "Most people seeing this movie thought robots were supposed to have giant plastic heads full of flashing lights and wander around waiting for a chance to kill people."

"Ignorance is no excuse," Alyx mutters, but quiets down for the next bit.

"Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope."

"Oh, he says it's nothing, sir. Merely a malfunction. Old data. Pay it no mind-"

But of course Luke just can't let it go. Old Ben Kenobi's going to be getting a visit soon, it looks like. Gordon leans back to watch what unfolds, and Alyx's reactions.

A visit from somebody, at least.

"It wasn't my fault, sir! Please don't deactivate me! I told him not to go, but--he's faulting, malfunctioning! Kept babbling on about his 'mission'!"

Alyx smirks. "'Too little to run away on me,' my ass... Clever little bastard."

"If you ask me that little astromech's the smartest being in the whole movie," Gordon agrees.

Unfortunately for Luke, that's going to be a problem that can't be resolved before nightfall. And come the morning Luke's speeding out into Sandpeople territory in search of droid or hermit.

Threepio, for the record, is even snippier than Gordon remembers.

"Well, there are two Banthas down there, but I don't see any--wait a second. There's Sandpeople, all right, I can see one of them now--"

Alyx huffs a laugh as Luke is surprised by a Sandperson rising up right in front of him. Kid deserved it for not paying better attention, as far as she's concerned.

This is really not a good day to be Luke Skywalker, if that horrible bellowing moan is anything to go by... oh, wait. That'd be the old man faking something else's noise, apparently.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi...Obi-Wan? Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time...a long time."

The old man takes Luke and the droids back to his home, where he fills Luke in on his heritage, and gives him a little present...

"What is it?"

"Your father's lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blaster... an elegant weapon for a more civilized age."

Alyx's jaw drops. "Holy shit. That's the sword Dr. Stantz was using! The one he gave me the patents for!"

Gordon blinks several times. "Somebody actually built one of those? How the hell do you get the laser portion of the blade to self-terminate and keep that kind of coherence? The power drain alone..."